I’m a writer, that’s what this site is about. But that’s not always what the internets want. The internets want pizza. The internets want bacon. Well, so do I. I baked a pizza with bacon yesterday, and as a result of that process, here are my top twenty differences between baking a pizza and cooking up a novel:
- Any pizza problem can be solved by adding more bacon.
- It’s a lot easier to placate negative pizza reviewers with alcohol.
- Pizza: Instant gratification, instant feedback.
- Nobody was ever indifferent about a pizza.
- You don’t need an agent or publisher for pizza.
- Your kids will never interrupt you partway through cooking a pizza.
- Munching on pizza ingredients during the cooking process is more satisfying than chewing your pencil.
- Time from ideation to complete satisfaction: 5 hours. (If unsatisfied, see #1, above)
- Crying: You do not need to torture your beloved pizza to show growth.
- Following the same pizza outline each time is a recipe for success.
- Most novel problems can be fixed by adding more explosions.
- Even if your reader doesn’t like one of the ingredients, he can still enjoy the novel as a whole.
- Nobody outside your family gets to enjoy your pizza.
- One great novel can make a career. One great pizza can’t even make a dinner.
- The raw materials for a novel are cheaper.
- Writing a novel presents less risk of burning the house down.
- There is no #ampizzaing hashtag on twitter to ensure your progress tweets meet a broader audience.
- You can work on a novel any time, any where.
- Crying: There is no need to chop onions when writing a novel.
- Writing a novel exercises creative powers.
Over the four-day weekend, I finished the overhaul of our translation business, which means that I have my mornings back for writing again, and outlining the next novel. The WIP crossed the 130k word mark this morning and I’m about one chapter away from starting the climax scenes for my various plot lines, which should be a lot of fun to write! My to-do list is down to: Outline 13 more chapters. Write 17 more chapters. Outline next novel. At this rate, I ought to finish my WIP first draft by mid-June. Maybe earlier if I can capitalize on the flight time during my business trip to Vietnam at the end of this month!